


When All Is Said And Done

by iaminarage



Series: Make Me Happy 'verse [10]
Category: Glee
Genre: Family, Getting Back Together, M/M, read through chapter 28 of make me happy before reading this ficlet, this is a ficlet for my Kurtbastian fic Make Me Happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 15:10:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3733480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iaminarage/pseuds/iaminarage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We went out to visit both of our parents for a couple weeks, and while we were in Ann Arbor at his parents’ house—” Kurt raised his eyebrows at Trent. “Don’t judge! His parents love me. Anyways, I guess his mother pointed out that our original plan only made sense if his career was the most important thing to him, but that, if I was the most important thing to him, he needed a new plan.”</p><p>Kurt nodded. He was starting to get the feeling that Alex’s mother would have gotten along well with Burt Hummel. “And he decided that you are?”</p><p>Trent smiled over at where Alex was engaged in intense conversation with a middle-aged man who was listening to him seriously. “Apparently I am. I don’t really know what’s going to happen if he can’t get a position close to the city, but we’re done being broken up for good, I think.”</p><p>Or: The story of how Trent Nixon and Alex Donahue got back together for good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When All Is Said And Done

**Author's Note:**

> Don't read this if you haven't read through chapter 28 of Make Me Happy. I also suggest that you read "Can You Read The Signs," which covers how Trent and Alex got together.
> 
> The title of this fic comes from the song "It All Fades Away" from the musical Bridges of Madison County. I explained the significance of this song to Trent and Alex in a [post](http://iaminarage.tumblr.com/post/111537174280/it-all-fades-away-from-the-bridges-of-madison) on my tumblr. (although that post contains spoilers for the end of Make Me Happy.)
> 
> Thanks as always to the wonderful loveinisolation for the beta.

Alex had been sitting at his parents' kitchen table staring at the data for his dissertation for an hour when someone rested their hands on the back of his chair. Alex had been so focused that he actually jumped a bit at the interruption, then he shot a glare across the table at his mother, Julie, who was laughing at him. "Worst mother ever."

"Probably," she replied with a shrug.

"And you," Alex said, twisting around in his chair so that he could look up at Trent. "I don't know why anyone puts up with you."

"Really? I'd think you'd know better than anyone," Trent said with a smile.

Alex did know better than anyone. Sometimes his feelings for Trent still surprised him with their intensity, even after five years. Since he couldn't think of a comeback, Alex reached up and tugged Trent down for a kiss. "I love you," Alex whispered, pulling back just far enough that he could meet Trent's eyes.

"I love you, too," Trent replied and then kissed him again.

"Ew, gross! Don't you know there are children present?" Alex heard his little sister, Millie, exclaim from the doorway. "And in front of mom? I'm scandalized."

Alex rolled his eyes and let go of Trent as Millie flopped down into the seat across from him. "You're fifteen years old; shouldn't you have started insisting that you are absolutely not a child by now?" Then he turned to his mother. "Aren't you worried that her emotional development is stunted?"

"Nope," Julie said without looking up from her laptop screen.

"Aren't you worried that exposing us to Alex's fucked up love life is a bad example for your impressionable teenagers?" Millie asked.

"Your brother is twenty-seven years old; he's free to make his own mistakes," Julie replied, still distracted. Then she seemed to realize the implications of what she'd said and looked over at Trent, who had wandered over to the fridge to look for something to eat. "Not that you're a mistake, dear," she said to him.

Millie sat up straight in her seat with an indignant look. "Of course not. Honestly, I've been hoping we'd get Trent in the break up this whole time, but Alex just keeps coming around."

Alex looked to his mother for help, but she just rolled her eyes at both of them and went back to work. When he realized he was on his own, Alex crossed his arms over his chest and glared Millie. "See if I let you practice driving again." Neither of Alex's parents had been willing get in the car with either of their fifteen year old twins in the driver's seat, so Alex had taken it upon himself to show them how to drive.

"That's okay, Trent'll take me," Millie replied.

"I absolutely will not," Trent replied, settling into the chair next to Alex with a bowl of cereal.  "Although, on that note, I'm stealing your car and taking the kids shopping."

"Wait! You're leaving me alone with my dissertation?"

"It's your baby," Trent said with a laugh. "And I'm pretty sure one of the conditions of us coming out here was that you would spend today working on your analysis with absolutely no distractions."

That was what Alex had said, but now that he was stuck working, it sounded like a terrible idea. "The conditions suck," Alex said, pouting a bit obviously.

Trent sighed at Alex. "Sometimes I can't even tell how many of you are fifteen." Then he looked over at Millie. "Speaking of which, where's Fisher?"

"Probably still in the bathroom putting on his _eyeliner_ ," Millie replied, in a tone that made it clear that she thought her brother was ridiculous. Fisher was having some sort of punk phase that seemed to involve an increasingly monochromatic wardrobe and listening to a lot of music that was released when Alex was in middle school. "Maybe while we're shopping, we can get him something that isn't black."

"Please don't interfere with your brother's attempts to individualize," Julie said, giving her daughter a pointed look, which only earned her an eye roll from Millie.

Trent looked around at the three of them and shrugged, "I'll just go see if I can't get him moving."

When Trent came back, he was trailed by Fisher, dressed in head-to-toe black as predicted. Mille hopped up as soon as she saw them come downstairs and said, "Finally! Fisher, you take longer to get ready than I do."

"So you've told me," Fisher replied good-naturedly as he pulled on a pair of combat boots.

Before she followed Trent and Fisher out the door, Millie circled the table so that she could pull Alex into a tight hug. "I love you, big brother," she said.

"Love you, too, kid," he replied, hugging her back.

Once Trent and the twins were gone, Alex was forced to get back to work. He was still swearing at his analysis a few hours later when Julie loudly declared that it was lunch time and set and sandwich in front of him.

Alex was a couple of bites into his sandwich before he noticed the intense look that Julie was giving him, which could only mean trouble. "Something you want to ask me?" Alex said, setting his sandwich down.

"Are you happy?" she asked, still giving him that searching look.

For a minute, Alex just stared at her. Whatever he'd been expecting her to ask, that was not it.

Julie took in his startled look and continued. "You're doing work you love, right? This is where you want your career to be going?"

"Yeah, I love it," Alex replied, giving her a puzzled look. "I mean, I'm fucking exhausted, but I really do love it."

"Good," she said with a nod. "So what I'm asking is if you're happy with your life, or if you wake up every morning only to have your heart broken when you realize again that he isn't there."

Alex felt like he'd been slapped. He wanted to scold his mother for being over dramatic, but she'd given such an accurate description of how he felt. "No, I'm not happy."

"I guess what I'm trying to figure out is if the work isn't enough to make happy now, why do you think it'll ever be enough?"

It didn't seem fair of her to throw this all in his face. Still, these were the questions that Alex had been trying desperately not to ask himself for years. He'd been trying not to face the fact that spending the rest of his life without Trent seemed impossible, but that if he prioritized his career the way they'd agreed, it was a distinct possibility that they might never live in the same city again.

"We had a plan, you know?" Alex said, pulling his feet up onto the chair and wrapping his arms around his knees. "We weren't going to let anything distract from our work."

"I know you did, baby," Julie said, moving her chair closer to Alex so that she could wrap an arm around him.

Alex leaned his head on her shoulder and let his tears fall. Julie rubbed his back as he cried. Once Alex had started to pull himself together, she said, "I don't think you guys made a bad plan. If your career is the most important thing to you, then you made the choice you needed to make. I'm just not sure that it is."

"I don't know what to do, mom. I feel like we should stick with the plan, but I'm already so tired of missing him," Alex said with a sigh.

"I know it's against your nature to change your mind," his mother said, letting him go with a smile, "but I don't want you to lose the thing you most want because you can't reevaluate."

* * *

The next day, they gathered in the living room to watch Star Wars. Alex couldn't remember how it had started but, whenever he was home for a few days, they always watched all six movies.

Alex spent most of the first movie watching Trent and Millie play an amusingly intense game of battleship and thinking about what his mother had said to him that afternoon. He knew, of course, that he and Trent weren't doing a very good job at being broken up, but that wasn't the same as being together.

Fisher interrupted his contemplation by leaning over the back of Alex's chair and whispering in his ear. "You're lucky he puts up with that creepy staring thing you do."

"You try spending three years away from the person you love and see how you handle it." Alex said, deflecting. Then he thought about that for a second. "Actually, don't. Make better choices."

Alex preferred to call it "watching" rather than "creepy staring," but he'd been doing it pretty much since he and Trent started dating.

It had taken Trent pointing it out for Alex to even notice that he was doing it. His eyes just seemed to find Trent across crowded rooms, or in groups of their friends, or even while they studied together. When Trent had asked him about it, Alex hadn't known how to explain. He'd just said, "I like you," and then, when that wasn't a good enough answer, "I can never seem to get enough of you."

Trent had seemed confused, and Alex had offered to stop if it made him uncomfortable. But Trent had explained that he wasn't bothered, he just didn't think he was anything special, which Alex had found completely illogical.

"Are you listening?"

Alex's head snapped up, and he looked at Fisher, who'd apparently been talking. "Sorry, what were you saying? I was off in my own world."

"And he's always been at the center of that," Fisher agreed with a smile.

Alex nodded, because he could hardly disagree. "Whether that's good or bad, I don't know."

"Ha!" Trent shouted from across the room, raising his arms in celebration. "Give it up, Millie! You're sunk!"

"I can't believe you get so much joy out of beating a little girl." Millie gave Trent her most pathetic look.

"Beep. Beep. Beep. Sore loser alert!" Trent stood up. "Someone else is going to have to play you; I need a nap."

Alex watched him leave until Millie plopped down next to him on the oversized chair. "I can't believe you let your boyfriend treat me like this!" Then she looked up at him and said, "Sorry. Ex-boyfriend."

"Brat," Alex shot back automatically, but the correction smarted a bit in a way it probably shouldn't have.

As they settled down to watch the rest of Phantom Menace, Alex pulled out his phone.

To Sebastian:  
What the hell am I doing?

From Sebastian:  
If I had to guess? Probably making things harder for yourself than they need to be. Context?

Alex sighed. Sebastian didn't seem to need context; he'd gotten it right in one guess. It was a bad habit, but Alex didn't really know how to stop. He closed his eyes and tried to let go of all the complications and think about what his mother had asked: what was the most important thing in the world to him?

As soon as Alex thought about it that way, he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that there had only ever been one answer. It was really only a matter of whether or not he was brave enough to say it out loud.

* * *

 

"I thought you came up here to take a nap," Alex said, leaning on the doorframe of his childhood bedroom.

Trent was sitting cross-legged on Alex's bed in his pajamas and staring out the window as he absentmindedly petted Fisher's cat who was resting comfortably in his lap.

"I was going to, but Rabbit had other ideas. And then I got to thinking," Trent replied, smiling at him.

Alex couldn't help but roll his eyes when Trent mentioned the cat's name. Rabbit was eleven years old, and Alex still hadn't gotten over how silly her name was. She and her sister had been adopted as kittens when the twins were four years old, and each twin had been allowed to name their kitten. Millie had named hers Lulu, but Fisher had been determined to name his after his favorite cartoon character: Rabbit from Winnie the Pooh.

Alex crossed the room to stand next to Trent and gave Rabbit a serious look as he scratched her under the chin. "Are you trying to steal my man?"

"Well she is cuter than you," Trent replied with a grin.

"Hey!" Alex exclaimed, jerking his hand back, which upset Rabbit enough that she hopped out of Trent's lap and stalked over to settle in the desk chair. "I'm adorable!"

"You are," Trent replied, reaching over and catching Alex's hand in his. "Did you come to nap with me?"

That was an interesting question. Alex hadn't actually had anything resembling a plan; he'd just needed to find Trent. "I could nap," Alex replied, dropping Trent's hand and crawling up onto the bed next to him. "What were you thinking about?"

"You," Trent replied, his tone thoughtful.

"What a coincidence. I was thinking about you, too," Alex said with a wry smile.

Trent caught Alex's hand again and squeezed. "Anything important?"

"Isn't it always with us?" Alex asked.

"Well sometimes it's just dirty," Trent replied with a grin.

Alex couldn't help but laugh at that, because it was very true. "More than just sometimes," he said, winking at Trent. "But not this time."

"So what is it this time?" Trent asked.

For a minute, Alex was lost. He couldn't figure out how to put any of it into words. "I don't want to do this anymore."

Trent's eyes widened, and he pulled his hand away almost reflexively. Alex was confused for a second before he realized how his words must have sounded.

"Oh my god, not like that!" Alex shifted to his knees and wrapped his arms around Trent's neck. "Jesus Christ, Trent," he said when Trent hugged him back tightly.

"I'm sorry, I …" Trent trailed off and pressed his face into Alex's shoulder.

Alex felt entirely unbalanced by how afraid Trent was. "You know that's never going to happen, right?" Alex asked, pulling back so that he could meet Trent's eyes. "There will never be a day when I don't want to be with you anymore."

"But it could happen!" Trent said. "We've barely talked about it, but you're going to defend in less than a year. You could be anywhere after that, and I don't know how much longer we can do this."

"It's not going to happen," Alex said, biting his lip. This was the thing he'd been afraid to admit, even to himself, for years. "If I have to choose between a job and you, I pick you."

Trent cupped Alex's cheek in his hand and looked at him seriously. "You can't promise me that."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm very selfish, and I'm afraid that I'll let you." Trent pulled away from Alex with a sigh and flopped over on the bed.

Alex just looked at Trent for a moment, trying to decide how to make him understand. It must have gone on for too long, though, because Trent interrupted his thoughts to say, "You're staring again."

Alex smiled softly and stretched himself out on his side next to Trent so that they were facing each other. "Always. And you've never been the selfish one on this team."

"You've never been the objective one on this team," Trent retorted.

"I want you to let me."

Trent leaned in and kissed Alex gently. "I know. But Alex, for as long as I've known you, you've been sure of what you were supposed to do with your life, and you can't give that up for me."

"Choosing you doesn't mean giving up everything else," Alex said. "I want to go to New York next year, no matter what. If I can get an academic position, great; if not, I can still find a way to help kids, and you know that's always been the point."

"And after next year?" Trent asked. He wasn't convinced yet, but Alex could tell he was making progress.

"We're a team. We'll figure it out together and find someplace that we can both be. But I don't want to hope we end up in the same place anymore. I want to make sure we do."

Trent squeezed his eyes shut as a few tears slipped out. Alex reached over to wipe the moisture from his cheeks. "I do, too," Trent replied softly. "But I don't want you to regret it."

Alex didn't have to words to explain to Trent how confident he was, so he pulled Trent as close to him as he could and kissed him instead. "I've never been as sure of anything as I am of this. Please trust me to know how I feel and tell me what you want."

"I want what I've always wanted," Trent replied and rolled his eyes the way he always did when he knew he was being a bit of a sappy romantic but wasn't going to stop himself. "As much of you as I can get: forever if possible."

"Sounds like we're on the same page," Alex replied, leaning in to kiss Trent again. Trent's cheeks were damp with tears under his hands, and Alex knew that he was crying, too. After everything they'd gone through in the last four years, they'd probably earned the right.

The door to Alex's room banged open, startling Alex into pulling away and making Trent burst into giggles. "Are you guys having sex?" Millie said loudly.

"Why would you throw the door open if you thought we were having sex?" Alex asked, which made Trent giggle harder.

Any hope that Millie might have missed the fact that he sounded choked up was dashed when she said, "Are you okay?" in a soft voice.

Alex tried to covertly wipe his cheeks with his sleeve before he disentangled from Trent and walked over to Millie.

"Why are you crying?" Millie gave him a searching look. "Alex?"

"Everything's fine, sweetie," Alex said, trying to looks suitably reassuring. "Things just got a little bit intense in here."

Millie glanced over his shoulder at Trent and then looked back at Alex. "Wait, did you two … are you getting back together?"

When Alex but his lip and nodded, she threw her arms around his neck and squeaked in a way he was pretty sure only a teenage girl could. "Sorry for interrupting!" she said, once she let him go. "Lock your door!"

The she turned around and practically skipped away.

"Don't tell anyone!" Alex shouted down the hallway after her. Then he turned back to Trent. "Did she just imply what I think she implied?" Trent nodded and Alex sighed. "My family has no shame."

"It's always comforting to know you come by it honestly," Trent replied, grinning at him, and then his voice took on a slightly suggestive tone. "But I do think you should lock your door."

Alex did as he was told and then climbed back onto the bed. "I hope you were saying you wanted to get back together," he said, running his hand through his hair a bit nervously.

"Alex." Trent rolled his eyes and pulled Alex back down so that they were lying next to each other. "I really want to be your boyfriend again."

Alex felt the same giddy thrill that he remembered from the first time Trent had ever called him that. He could hardly believe that this was real after all this time. "Oh, thank god," he said and wrapped his hand around the back of Trent's neck. "No take backs. I hope you're prepared to be stuck with me for the rest of your life."

"I was kind of counting on it," Trent replied, and then he kissed Alex hard, grabbing him by the waist to pull him closer.

Alex let himself get lost in the kiss and, as he did, he could feel tension that he'd been carrying around for years start to ease. Finally, he was back where he belonged.


End file.
